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“Should I, or Could I?” Owning your work/life balance!

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Rebel Thoughts for the

Inspired Woman

Erika L. Davis, CPC, ELI-MP

Certified Work/Life Coach

After an amazing summer trip to my best friend’s in the Hampton’s last week, I was feeling motivated and ready to get back to my workout routine with my first personal training session since my return home. I was happily warming up on the treadmill when my personal trainer mentioned that someone was to join us for the workout but had to cancel because things were “just too busy.” It sounded like this woman wasn’t very happy about it but felt she had no choice. What comes to mind for you when you think about owning your work/life balance?

My personal trainer gets it…she showed the same frustration in hearing that this client couldn’t come because everything else took priority. As a professional coach, I was taught to ask my clients the question, “what could you do?” versus “what should you do?” Big, enormous difference in those two questions! One is empowering and encourages choice and freedom and the other is filled with that constant guilt that so many women experience everyday!

This person has a big job and kids and a husband and huge responsibilities. So many of you do and it’s perfectly understandable to feel the pull of all of those things but, how does it truly serve you and those around you when you don’t choose you FIRST? I am curious how this woman’s day is going and if it would have been better or worse if she decided to do something for herself before the “nutty-ness” ensued? My hunch is that, at the very least, her day wouldn’t have been any worse and she would have felt better, both emotionally and physically. I am by no means criticizing her choice…again, so normal and understandable. However, if I were her coach, I might ask her how that decision served her, or more importantly, how it may NOT have served her and her employees and her children and significant other?

So often we think that doing things for ourselves, FIRST is impossible, not right, selfish and well, inconceivable at times. But, what if the exact opposite of that is ALWAYS true? We are here to experience our lives and be joyful, healthy beings. Loving kindness toward yourself FIRST allows you to share more loving kindness to your world and those in it. I challenge everyone to consider sharing that loving kindness to yourself FIRST tomorrow morning (and if not tomorrow the next day). Instead of asking “should I”, ask “could I”! Perhaps it’s a workout, a five-minute meditation, 30 minutes with your coffee and book. See what it does for your day…everything and everyone can wait a few and reap the benefits later! 😉

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